I dreamt that I was back in high school as well as 17 years old. I was happy and I did not know why. While on the bus I gazed upon a friend and someone I had a one sided love for during my high school days in real life. In the dream, she had a mischievous smile and her hand rested on her lovely cheek. My heartbeat drummed faster whenever my eyes stayed on her figure. We eventually boarded off the bus into an empty street. With no eyes upon us, she slid her hand into my sweaty palm and gripped it firmly as if she whispered, ” I will never let you go.” We did not look at each other while we headed to my home. As we walked, she leaned her head onto my shoulder in a content bliss of a moment. I turned my head slightly towards her scalp and placed my lips upon her hair in a gentle and chaste kiss. Her fragrance filled my being with warmth and a love I knew my real self could not comprehend. I love you did not pass through either of our lips; there simply was no need to declare our love with words when the act, the joining of our hands was enough for our love to remain undeclared.
I wish to tell you that this was a memory of my childhood, a picture of my youth that really did happened. But I can’t. I really did declare my love for my friend, a one sided love secret I poured and confessed to her one day. She cried, not from joy but because she did not feel the same and she knew that her answer would only bring a sad despair upon my young unblemished heart. She would not allow me a chance to make this dream true. I knew the term friendzoned, but I did not truly understood its meaning until that day. To make matters worse, months later I learned that she was dating a friend who I thought was a brother to me. They hid their love from the world, a scab or wound hidden from all but the two of them.
The dream wine is always sweeter than the bitter draught of reality that is my life.