Dream.doc 03/13/17

I dreamt that I was back in high school as well as 17 years old.  I was happy and I did not know why.  While on the bus I gazed upon a friend and someone I had a one sided love for during my high school days in real life.  In the dream, she had a mischievous smile and her hand rested on her lovely cheek.  My heartbeat drummed faster whenever my eyes stayed on her figure.  We eventually boarded off the bus into an empty street.  With no eyes upon us, she slid her hand into my sweaty palm and gripped it firmly as if she whispered, ” I will never let you go.”  We did not look at each other while we headed to my home.  As we walked, she leaned her head onto my shoulder in a content bliss of a moment.  I turned my head slightly towards her scalp and placed my lips upon her hair in a gentle and chaste kiss.  Her fragrance filled my being with warmth and a love I knew my real self could not comprehend.  I love you did not pass through either of our lips; there simply was no need to declare our love with words when the act, the joining of our hands was enough for our love to remain undeclared.

I wish to tell you that this was a memory of my childhood, a picture of my youth that really did happened.  But I can’t.  I  really did declare my love for my friend, a one sided love secret I poured and confessed to her one day.  She cried, not from joy but because she did not feel the same and she knew that her answer would only bring a sad despair upon my young unblemished heart.  She would not allow me a chance to make this dream true.  I knew the term friendzoned, but I did not truly understood its meaning until that day.  To make matters worse, months later I learned that she was dating a friend who I thought was a brother to me.  They hid their love from the world, a scab or wound hidden from all but the two of them.

The dream wine is always sweeter than the bitter draught of reality that is  my life.

I’m going to Marie Kondo this blog!

I would like to start by apologizing.  Not to the millions of nonexisting followers I have, but to myself.  I have allowed myself to get lazy and essentially abandon this blog that I had such high hopes for.  Life happened, but rather than writing about these events I just let this site die.  Well I say no more! (Hopefully my enthusiasm won’t fall again…)  This will be my second (more like fifth) wind!  I am revising this blog and will post frequently every week.  I would like to focus more on covering my likes such as books, video games, fanfictions, some tech, and of course my puppy.  As lost in the road of life as I am, I think this is the best I can do right now until I find my niche in life.  I would like to have some sort of legacy/journal for my possible future children so why not a blog?  Pic of my puppy in 3..2..1..

Her name is Vivi and at the time of the picture she is only a couple of months old.  I love her but she is such a pain in the ass.  She can also knock me on my ass if she tried.  Luckily I am still stronger than her but for how long?


I would like to get more into writing.  It has been a while since I had to use my brain for any deep thought other than solving a puzzle in a video game.  I love games on Steam but those things seriously can cause detrimental damage to ones potential.   Pokemon is a great example.  I been addicted to Pokemon since my parents bought me Pokemon Silver for the Game Boy Color.  Since then, I have bought at least one main game of every generation (none of the spinoff games like mystery dungeon, so much money!).  Currently, I stuck playing Sun and Moon and they are great (although my Pokebank account is frozen cause of some bullshit reason).  Even though I am an active fan, I admit these games are a huge time waste.


Maybe this subject might become a future post.  The point is I am back baby!  For how long?  Who knows.